Today has been good.
I got out of bed. I showered. I got dressed up.
I was productive. I had coffee. I filed papers.
I socialized—flourishing in the limelight.
…I made a mistake.

Today has not been good.
The shower was so hot it scorched my skin.
When I was getting coffee, I almost hit another car.
While I was socializing, I crossed boundaries that I knew were there but didn’t care about in the moment.

Today has been manic.
I cried hysterically when I put on my ex’s favorite shirt. I didn’t stop until I was ordering my drink.
My productivity consisted of using up old art supplies by tie dying my bathroom towels at 2:30 in the morning.
I think I pushed away my best friend.

Today, I took my medicine. But today, it didn’t help.

Author: Rowan Hart

For work, I'm a medicolegal death investigator, harm reductionist, and a board member here for BipolarClubDX. I also have a bad habit of simultaneously starting multiple projects and businesses that end up falling to the wayside, but that just means I'm a "go big or stay home" personality. In my personal life, I'm deaf, kind, and extremely passionate. For fun, I'm a cemetery habitué because of my taphophilic interests, and I will always maintain that I am in love with love incarnate. Also, I'm bipolar. And that's not listed in any of the above groups because it doesn't ever just fall into one subcategory of my life; it's a huge part of me.

2 thoughts on “MANIAC

  1. Pamela Gold says:

    Big sigh and a deep breath. These moments are so hard. Memories aren’t always entertaining and fun. I’m holding you up from afar.

    1. Rowan H. says:

      I appreciate you, Pam. <3 I'm lucky--in the sense that this was not today. I just thought I'd publish a bit more poetry to boost that particular page up. 🙂


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